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codyhuntsaz

Child adoption

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My wife and I have been diagnosed with what doctors call unexplained infertility. We have done two rounds of IVF with no success. We have sunk in excess of $25,000 into this process with nothing to show for it but the heartbreak of two early miscarriages. This has led us down the road of adoption. I thought I would reach out to anyone here that maybe has any experience with this or has any relatives or friends that work with adoption agencies. We are just starting this journey and it can be very confusing until you know which agencies are good and which agencies you shouldn't work with. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks Cody

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Cody thanks for sharing, I have seen how devastating infertility can be. I don't know anything about adoption, but I wish you the best of luck and hope the process of raising children can one day bless your life.

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My hat is off to you sir. In all honesty, it is one of the highest callings you can answer. I do not know if you are a praying man or a Christian, but God will smile upon you in these trying times. While I am not a preacher, adoption always pulls at my heart strings.

Read Job chapter 29, verse 12. I hope you are not offended by this post.

1 Job continued his discourse:
2 "How I long for the months gone by, for the days when God watched over me,
3 when his lamp shone upon my head and by his light I walked through darkness.
4 Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God's intimate friendship blessed my house,
5 when the Almighty was still with me and my children were around me,
6 when my path was drenched with cream and the rock poured out for me streams of olive oil.
7 "When I went to the gate of the city and took my seat in the public square,
8 the young men saw me and stepped aside and the old men rose to their feet;
9 the chief men refrained from speaking and covered their mouths with their hands;
10 the voices of the nobles were hushed, and their tongues stuck to the roof of their mouths.
11 Whoever heard me spoke well of me, and those who saw me commended me,
12 because I rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him.
13 The man who was dying blessed me; I made the widow's heart sing.
14 I put on righteousness as my clothing; justice was my robe and my turban.
15 I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame.
16 I was a father to the needy; I took up the case of the stranger.
17 I broke the fangs of the wicked and snatched the victims from their teeth.
18 "I thought, 'I will die in my own house, my days as numerous as the grains of sand.
19 My roots will reach to the water, and the dew will lie all night on my branches.
20 My glory will remain fresh in me, the bow ever new in my hand.'
21 "Men listened to me expectantly, waiting in silence for my counsel.
22 After I had spoken, they spoke no more; my words fell gently on their ears.
23 They waited for me as for showers and drank in my words as the spring rain.
24 When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them.
25 I chose the way for them and sat as their chief; I dwelt as a king among his troops; I was like one who comforts mourners.

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Cody,

Not sure how things work in Arizona, but my wife and I were blessed with adopting a son in 2003 here in NM. The best advice I can start with is try to go through a private agency. We used New Mexico Christian Children's Home out of Portales, NM. It is a Christian facility that runs an adoption agency along with single parent help and foster care. The birth mother of our son came to the agency at about 3 months pregnant and they gave her housing and meals and assisted with covering medical costs that her Medicaid didn't pay. The agency had a flat "price" we paid for their services which included all court costs and such to finalize the adoption. For this process we basically made a portfolio, or scrapbook, of our family and who we were and when a woman came in with adoption as an option she was given the scrapbooks that matched what both her and the adoptive family were looking for and ultimately she chooses which family her baby goes to. For us overall it was a good experience and I think it took somewhere around 4 years for us to be chosen and things to be finalized. This is a relatively small agency so I would imagine it could go quicker in a bigger city. I say all that to give an example of how it is done in some places.

I have a friend right now that is trying to adopt a child through the State Foster system and it is a nightmare. State agencies will go to adoption as an absolute final resort. I have seen the baby that they are trying to adopt get put back into the mother's care just to be pulled again after she fails drug tests. That has happened about 3 times. The state system is cheaper as far as money goes, but sure seems to me that the price they are paying emotionally and psychologically every time the state sends the baby back to his mom is not worth it.

Hope this helps a little. If you have some questions or I can help at all feel free to ask!

Jeff

 

Add on: We lost a son to SIDS in 2003 and could not get pregnant again. We adopted in 2007. The Lord then blessed us with a pregnancy and another son in 2010.

 

While listening to SOS Radio today they were talking about adoption and mentioned this website: www.adoptex.org

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Cody, my wife and I have adopted 3 from foster care, and are in the process of adopting 2 more from Bulgaria. We spent more than 7 years as a foster family and have some experiences that might be useful to you all. We are also fairly well connected with agencies, etc. It is hard to adopt, and harder to stop adopting. It is the best decision you could make.

 

Couple things to watch if you have time.

 

http://www.fox10phoenix.com/story/27477470/2014/11/25/double-dog-dare-boy-raises-money-to-help-adopt-bulgarian-child

 

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rztYMMhMT2Y

 

Anything we can do to help let us know.

 

Darren

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You may wish to contact Chris Beck (sundevil) or Larry Roberts ( scoutm)

 

I'm more than happy to share our experience with you. I will shoot you a PM with contact info.

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