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Non-Typical Solutions

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One of my wrestlers and next door neighbor got shot in the neck last Friday!

Severed his spinal cord and is now paralyzed from the neck down!

This is a long read but something all our kids need to hear and learn from!

 

Monday, July 10, 2017

July 10 noon update on Alex. ... some rambling words.

The supervising doctor was just here. He made some other recommendations. They will now likely do the tracheotomy in the operating room. (They had planned on doing it in the ICU room). This will give them more help and will have an anesthesiologist there. That means that the tracheotomy may not happen today. It also means that while they have Alex on full anesthesia they may have the oral surgeons fix some of the damage in his mouth.

 

 

Alex still feels pain in his mouth, head, and back of the neck etc. But, the doctors and nurses try to manage the pain with medication. They are aware of Alexs past drug use and are aware that Alexs benefit from their pain medication may be different than other people.

 

 

I'm sure that many following these updates are young. And I'm sure you're having a hard time wrapping your mind around what has happened to Alex. It's natural for we humans to think that bad things only happen to other people. But we older folk who have seen tragedy, know that bad things can happen to good people any time any place. That is real life. That is why we tell kids to be careful and follow rules. What happened to Alex can happen to any of us. Maybe in different ways, but living outside the rules increases the likelihood that something bad will happen to you.

 

 

Some of you are Alex's friends who still are living the type of life Alex was living. You know that I've pleaded for these years for Alex to accept detox and rehab. Yet he never would accept any official treatment. I arranged counseling for him 5 times but he would only go to a couple of meetings then stop, I arranged rehabs but he refused. Drugs, smoking, and alcohol started for Alex in high school as something fun and against the rules, then it became a crutch, an excuse, and something he couldn't live without. Eventually any money or support Alex got went towards furthering the drug lifestyle. No one starts out intending to be a drug addict. But, its what happens. That's why its wrong.

 

 

For many reasons, Alex would tell me there was no help for him. But he was wrong about that. He fought depression, bad dreams and memories, by being high and drunk. He had heard horror stories from some of you about detox and rehab places. So he believed rehab would never work for him. My response to him was that any rehab facility is no vacation, and that the success or failure of any program was dependent on the person's commitment to change.

 

 

Now, this injury and paralysis is Alexs rehab. Drug detox and rehab would have been way easier than what he is facing now. Alex is no longer one of you stuck in the drug cycle of misery. For that one benefit of this horrible tragedy, Im grateful. Although Alexs drug use was not the direct cause of him getting shot, it was the certainly the indirect cause. Without Alex living his life outside the rules, and if he had made other choices, he wouldnt have been where he was, with who he was, doing whatever he was doing. He should have been in college, in the military, in bed because he was tired from a job and had to work the next day, or any other place else, but he wasnt. Personally, I dont need or even want to know the details. The tragedy of this sorrowful event started for me, for Wendy, and for Alexs brothers and sisters long ago when we all realized the truth of Alexs addictions.

 

 

Most of you dont know the whole story of Alexs life. Its too long to tell. But, all of you know that Alex was once a healthy young man with a promising future. Drugs changed that, you who sold and bought for him, from him, or used with him; you changed all that. The drug life changed it, I dont blame you. I dont blame anyone. No one intends these kinds of things. Alex has been no angel, but he was taught better. For some reason he felt attracted to the drug life. Perhaps it was something to do with the fact that when we adopted Alex at 6 months old they told us he was a crack baby. We were told he went through withdrawals as an infant.

 

 

No one starts out to be a drug addict, no one intends to live a life like that, to have friends die, friends injured, jailed. Mostly, the reasons why Alex was on drugs was because Alex made bad choices, didnt like rules, and found that drugs made him feel briefly happy when he was feeling the weight of life. Alex got to the point where the highs and lows made him forget what normal felt like.

 

Alexs battle with drugs is over. Is yours? Go get help Accept whatever advice, treatment, counsel, rehab that has any chance of helping at all. If you fail, try again, and again. Theres only one person who can actually change you, you. I believe in God. I believe that releasing control of your life to Him can help you. Start doing what he says to do. If you dont know about what God has told us to do, read the scriptures, talk to your preacher, talk to those guys in the white shirts and name tags. But, ultimately it is your choice. As it says in the hymn, God wont force anyone to heaven. None of us are perfect. Ive certainly made an ocean full of mistakes. But, we all have to reach a point where we ask forgiveness, let the guilt go, stop focusing on the past, and work to fix today and tomorrow. I believe in the saving power, healing influence, and power to relieve stress of Jesus Christ. He has already laid down the price for all your wrongs, look to him . Forgive yourself, let your own past go. Stop blaming yourself, parents, siblings, others, or your circumstances. Go get and accept any help offered. Try and keep trying. Lots have people are former drug addicts, it can be done.

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Drug users are on a one way street, unless they can find away to turn themselves around, it's a bad ending. As the saying goes "You can't want for someone, more than they want for themselves". It isn't just the drugs on the street either.

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I hate these stories. I grew up in Gilbert during the hay day of prescription drug use that started the current heroine epidemic.

 

Seen this a lot, and it sucks every time.

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Man that sucks...I seen some friends that had absolutely huge potential get involved with drugs, super bad news, and watched their lives go downhill as much as I tried to intervene...very tough to watch and see

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As a father of two adults that are heroin addicts, I can totally relate to this. No one can force anyone to get the help they need. They have to help themselves. My thoughts and condolences to anyone in this situation.

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It's tough for kids that start that life young. They're brains aren't fully developed until their mid twenties and they will never comprehend life like we do as adults. Then when and if they do get clean it's a struggle because they never learned how to deal with their own emotions without the numbing affected the drugs. So when they get sober life gets boring for them real fast and when they start experiencing real life problems they just cant cope and right back they go. Ive seenit a few times with guys i had to hire and fire. This is really sad to hear.

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Thoughts and prayers for Alex and his family. God works in mysterious ways.

 

TJ

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