biglakejake Report post Posted June 10, 2019 working on this for a while now...still reads more like a historical narrative than a poem. any ideas? lee Lost Warrior In the sixth month of the third year of the new century after trials of September last-a new test closer by far to home an evening of anguish, giant clouds fill the western sky but clouds not of heaven's reward, but of terror Our mountain radio repeats all eve-worry not this monster is attended it's giant pyre grotesque in brilliant June moonlight local leaders have offered help-'we got this' the reply by the wee hours we sleep in cozy homes, camps or cabins troubled not Morning brings a bright new day-until we step outside western sky obscured, hiding the maelstrom within hot, dry winds turn this firestorm into nature never seen before one can see, knows what can happen, he knows what must be done Soon this churning destruction has a name-Rodeo-sinister in origin ages ago The Lord asked 'Whom shall I send, who will go for us?' and going are warriors in brilliant yellow tunics calling out as one 'Send me' in the lead is Rick Lupe, bred of Apache blood and vested by years of wildfire After the warriors are pushed back from the first real skirmish highly regarded, much loved civic leaders tell us we must go important people in choppers and Learjets come to our mountain they draw the worlds attention, but will not dig a foot of fireline Rick Lupe led his crews' final stand, our community at their backs it has since gone down in fire lore-defense of the Hiway 60 line with a few dozen hotshots and a half dozen bulldozers, help days away they burned out, bulldozed and starved the maelstrom 18 hours straight our warriors held fast the line few photos, a single fleeting interview by Rick Lupe gone home, gone to ground, the dreams of the warriors untroubled the sweet sleep of the victorious, want of adulation not almost to the day a year after the geneses of Rodeo we lose our warrior Rick Lupe, a victim himself of fire his parents brought him to us, wildfire grew him into native lore a man of few pictures, at home within Apache soil, never to be forgotten le 12/18 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TOBY Report post Posted June 16, 2019 Too much info for a poem. Make more shorter poems.good stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jdown Report post Posted June 16, 2019 I go for shorter, more lymric and more of an anthem myself--not what you are going after but here is light version: It was the 3rd June in O'Three When a new he!! called us to be An evening of anguish as giant blooms fill the sky Not of the heavens but from a devilish guy The next morn brings hope until we see That the winds have stirred the flames like a hive full of angry bee The maelstrom has gone unwrangled How appropriate this Rodeo leaves everything in its path mangled The Lord once asked who shall I send, who will go for us The warriors respond like armies, including our leader who goes without fuss Lupe leads his men of courage Send one send all as we make a stand to steal this beast's forage Lupe and his men succeed Despite the wrath of the fire that only wants to be freed Lupe will go home to be heroic ever more To his native land, Apache to the core A year after this victorious fight We lost this man, full of might This tribute is to this great man Who gave his life for all in yet another stand 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Roosevelt Mark Report post Posted June 16, 2019 Jack an Jill went up the hill They each had a buck and a quarter Jill came down with two fifty.......Bam Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jdown Report post Posted June 16, 2019 Good enough for Dr suess, good enough for me! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
