whats the funniest thing thats happened

[Kevin]

Dammit Lark, I've got to wipe the coffee off my computer! Never figured you for a Grammartarian.

 

Kevin

[smerky]

az4life

One thing to remember if you follow bcoover's advise. Wash them hands!

 

A few years back, me and a couple buddies were out Dove hunting, when I got that urge to purge. I located a place to make my deposit and get back to them birds. After completing my task, I soon realized I hadn't brought any wipes along. I looked around but it was obvious I wasn't going to be able to hold this position much longer. The socks were about the only option available. Off came the tops (quite easily too), and the job was done. Back to the birds.

 

We all met back at the truck later and broke out the food. I was enjoying a sandwich, that one of my buddies brought for us, and thought I kept smelling poop. Finally, I decided it wasn't just my imagination. After a more thourough examination, I noticed what I can only describe as, a tiny waffle pattern of something on my fingers. One quick whiff and,YEP!! It was S#*T !!

 

I've since then tried to make more of an effort of hygene, even while in the field .

[az4life]

I posted the whole story in the hunting stories section on this site, but as a short excerpt.

 

We were out hiking toward a deer that had been shot to see the result of these guys stalk. anyway we were about 30 yds apart and a big buck jumps up and runs downhill between us. I think he was less than 10 ft from me.

 

I waited for Leigh to shoot as he had a better angle. (I held off so I did not shoot past the deer and hit him) I got 5 shots after waiting too long. I asked him why he did not shoot, and he said Tim Conway could not have done it better.

 

He pulled the trigger and it was on safe, fixed that and "CLICK" it was an empty chamber, Racked a round in and got is bino cable jammed in the bold, un racked that round and got the 2 rounds jammed in the action...

 

Funny stuff!

 

I actually did hit the deer... sort of.. At a dead run he went down to his knees after one of my shots, Turns out I broke an antler off with a shot.

 

Anyway the FULL version is much better. Find it here First Timers Tale of Coues Hunting

[BASS]

That's some pretty straight shooting with a lever gun to be able to redirect a coues' path!

[firstcoueswas80]

lark,(notice the comma?) it is very rare inbreed. it takes just the right amount or arkansas and alabama mixture to come up with one of them. i consider myself lucky to own and know one. dont be mad or jealous because you dont have one, it took years for me to find one with the perfect mullet and the most jacked up teeth. like i said, i consider myself very lucky!

[az4life]

lark,(notice the comma?) it is very rare inbreed. it takes just the right amount or arkansas and alabama mixture to come up with one of them. i consider myself lucky to own and know one. dont be mad or jealous because you dont have one, it took years for me to find one with the perfect mullet and the most jacked up teeth. like i said, i consider myself very lucky!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Lucky indeed you are. Is he a package deal with your "memaw" too?

[JVS]

Well, this one is kinda good. I was out hunting with a few buddies and it was cold and rainy. There were 3 of us, and only one small pickup in the field. (not sure why we left the other vehicle at camp?) Anyway, instead of riding biyatch, my buddy says he'll ride in back. He has some kind of water suit or something, so I think, well, OK, whatever suits your fancy I tell him. (is that enough commas for ya Lark) So we're cruisin along to our glassin point, and I look back and he's gone. Me and the other buddy think he's playing some stupid joke on us like usual and is lying down under something, or hiding in the bushes. So, we stop, search in the back, and sure enough no Joe. So we head back to find him, thinking he just jumped out of the back of the truck to glass a while or something. Anyway, just up the road we see a lump on a curve in the road where a tree branch overhangs. Yeah, he got thumped and is laying in the middle of the road. Anyway, he gets up with a big 'ol grin and a dumbfounded look and jumps in...the back of the truck! What a freakin hard head.

[.270]

hey casey, that sorta splains why you look a lot like ned "squeel like a pig" beatty. my gramma is from Hazzard, Kentucky. i know all about hillbillys and am proud to be one. Lark.

[DesertBull]

I grew up in southern Illinois. Some of the communities in the area were named:

 

Hole in Rock

Skillet Fork

Walnut Hill

Kinmundy (I can't pay you today, but I kin Monday)

Germantown

Shady Rest (bootleggers and gambling hangout during the prohibition)

 

It was Hillbilly Heaven!

[.270]

i went to "starved rock" state park out in ill-noise, oncet. Lark.

[second shot]

My hunting partner's dad has a bad habit of missing deer becuase he always sets his rifle down out of reach when nature calls and almost every time a good size buck walks by. His son, my hunting partner, hasn't fallen far from the tree. About ten years ago we were hunting near Patagonia. It was the last day of the hunt and neither of us had shot a deer in three years of trying. We were about to give up when my partner decided nature was calling. As soon as he walked over to a tree to do his business a buck walked out into the clearing we'd been glassing. My partner was in mid drop when I shot the deer. He came running back to me and was pissed that I shot the deer becuase we'd decided earlier that he would take one if we saw it. I couldn't pass up the opportunity though. That was my first coues and it took him another six hunts to bag his first. His dad almost died laughing when he heard his son missed the deer becuase he was going to the bathroom.

[GRONG]

dang those are funny! What's up with people crapping in their overalls/coveralls? Next time I wear some I'm definitely gonna pay more attn whenever the urge to release comes.

 

One funny story (maybe 2 actually) I have is when my Dad and I hiked to the top of this really steep ridge early in the morning to glass for bears. Both of us were sweating hard and quite thirsty as we tried to set up our tripods. He's about 10 yards from me behind some brush when I hear what sounds like a cat coughing up a hairball, HUUUAAAAGGHH HUUUAAAAGGHH!! Obviously we're supposed to be quite you know but he kept making those dang noises. I finally walked over to him and he's dry heaving after just having a sip of water. Ever since I can remember Dad can't drink water first thing in the morning or he gets sick. Don't ask me why. It was so funny watching a full grown man gagging on a sip of water.... sissy! We both got a big laugh over it. Didn't see any bears either.

 

About 20 years ago Dad and I were coming off of a really steep mesa, headed back to the truck after Coues hunting all day. Well Dad slips on a slab of sandstone and lands square on his tailbone. He sat there a second or two just looking ahead and finally leaned over and ralphed up a whole bag of pre-chewed M&M's he'd just eaten at the top 20 minutes earlier. I laughed so hard! Then a few minutes later I took a header down the slope and put a big dent in the scope. Good times!!!

[Rembrant]

Hey I've got one that doesn't involve poop or barf. Maybe y'all won't think it's funny.

I wasn't hunting either, I was fishin at night, by myself, on Roosevelt. Had a lantern going on the floor of the boat so I could see what I was doing in the boat.

Tossed a small jig out and was giving it time to sink to the bottom when I noticed the end of my rod twitchin. Grabbed and jerked in it, but got no resistance. But my rod tip is still twitchin... and what I could see of my line was goin up in the air!

What??!! So I start reeling it in. My mind was freaking as it struggled to understand why my line was going near verticle out of the end of my pole! Before I could get it reeled all the way in, it relaxes and falls to the surface. Only then did I hear the familiar squeeking of a bat as it continued its search for more 'bugs'.

The little rascal had apparently echoed up my monofiliment line and mistook it for a bug. Sat there and had a good laugh , by myself, after I calmed down.

Mike

[KGAINES]

I have a fishing story also. We were at Alamo and it was late at night, we had been cathing bass and catfish through the night, I have a buddy from work who is from NEW YORK, he keeps telling me about the fish he caught back there and how big they were compared to the ones we were catching and how there wasn't nothing big in this small lake, my dad and brother were tied off to us and were in one of those plastic 12 foot bass tenders, I had my big baitcaster set up with a bluegill and set to click with a bite, were sitting there and we hear click-----click, click------click, I move closer to the pole and as it continues to click, like in jaws, I set the hook, my boat starts to turn in the water and it in turn pulls my dads boat with it, my brother has the lantern and my dad has the spotlight as I am reeling this fish in, I am getting it next to my dads boat for my brother to grab it and it breaks the surface, big catfish, my brother grabs it and my line breaks, he pulls it out of the water and tosses it into my boat, as I am looking at it I see my buddy almost out the back of the boat hanging on to the motor, he tells me he ain't setting in the boat with nothing that big, the fish was a 20 plus pound channel cat, 23 pounds was what it weighed on my scale, I had to stringer it up and get it out the boat before he relaxed, and then I had to explain to hin that channel cats were the little ones, he didn't say much at work that monday. New York sucks is what I he heard from me for years, but he always wanted to go fishing with me, he just kept his mouth shut.

[Dan H]

Allright, a have a nature story.

We were archery cow unit 7 back in the early 90's for 19 days in a makeshift tent (tarp) w/canals around it actually. After a week or so we were gettin ripe. So we figured all america truck stop in flag for $2.50 and some laundry was in order.

My buddy is a big boy we call him Rhino.

He's a trucker so as were pulling into flag down 180 he's talking to his truckin buddies on the cb and there's 3 of us in the cab in his 2wd ford.

He's laughing away chattin on the cb and all of a sudden he's laughin so hard he spews and spits select brand cheapy cola all over his dash and cab spittin and gaging were thinking what was so funny.

I didn't here any joke or funny comments listening in on the conversation.

 

Now his speech is getting splurred as we suddenly rear ended the guy in front of us at the stop light. In a mercedes type fancy butt car.

The guy steps out and he's huge w/his car in park Rhino's trying to roll the window down and explain spittin out the words a ^%**&in bee stung me,

In the Inside Lip.

As the guys standing there he continued to hit him a second time it was awesome seeing to big guys argueing over what the heck was going on and one of them was crippled by a little bumble bee in his soda.

No seriuos damage to either vehicle but his lip sure was swollen for atleast 4 days until the dead skin started peeling off.

We now call him Big Lip.

Dan

Dan