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my L.A. essay about coues deer

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Quinton wells

Period 7

Ms. Mckeen

5/10/10

EVERYTHING ABOUT COUES DEER

You hear a twig break and you look up and all you see is the antlers of a Coues deer. The Coues are one of the most fascinating animals on the North American continent, and that’s the deer I will be talking about in this essay. The three main points I will be talking about are there general description, there habitat, and there predators.

The coues whitetailed deer’s general description. The coues deer is one of the smallest deer in America. Coues deer stand around twenty eight to thirty two inches tall at the shoulders and measure about fifty six inches head to tail. Doe’s tend to way about sixty five pounds and buck’s tend to way eighty to ninety pounds. The coues deer varies in color from a grayish coat in the winter to a more reddish-brown color in the summer they also have the classic white circles around there muzzle and eyes.

The coues deer’s habitat. They are found from Mexico and Central America to Canada and throughout the U.S. They live in remote areas where few humans ever go. Coues are primarily browsers, so shrubs must be available for them. Coues deer seem to be most numerous in woodland areas about 4000 to 6500 feet in elevation that have Madrean evergreen oaks or areas of oak mixed with juniper and pinion pine.

The coues deer’s predators. Poaching by humans which is illegal and is there deadliest predator. Mountain lions are the only consistent predators of the adult deer. Coyotes and bobcats effectively predate young fawns.

That’s about all the info you need to know about the Coues whitetail deer which were there general description: like the white circles around there muzzle and eyes, there habitat: they live in areas were few humans ever go, and the predators of the coues whitetail deer: which were humans, coyotes, and mountain lions. Just remember if you hear a twig break you can never be sure what it is.

 

 

HOPE YOU ENJOY, tell me what you think of the essay????????

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If you haven't turned it in yet you may want to make a couple corrections.

 

You use "weigh" wrong - twice. Yours is a direction not a weight.

 

Concerning the circles around eyes/mouth it should be "their", same with poaching and your conclusion, you have the wrong one.

 

And on the final sentence I would say "predators are" instead of were.

 

Not trying to bust your chops, just improve your grade - English teachers are pretty picky. Spell check is nice but it doesn't always point out syntax errors.

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Wow!! VERY GOOD!! Two thumbs waaaayy up for you!! Cant way to see you writing hunting stories not only here on cwt.com but on a magazine or two. Keep up the good work!

 

Ernesto C

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That was a great essay Cowboy Hunter. I hope you got a good grade for that and thanks for sharing it with your cwt brothers & sisters. Can't wait to read some more stuff from ya. :)

 

TJ

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It took me a moment to figure out that L.A. meant Language Arts. At first I thought "this isn't that long of an essay". Nice job. Let us know what the teacher thinks.

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Quinton:

 

Please realize that I would not bother to say anything about your essay if I thought you lacked talent. Unfortunately, the only way you can grow as a writer is to know what is wrong with your work. I hope you understand that I only want to help you when I say:

 

1. “Coues” should always be capitalized. It is the name of the man for whom this deer was named.

 

2. There are Coues white-tailed deer, Coues whitetails, and Coues deer, but there is no such critter as a “Coues.”

 

2. The words may sound alike, but there is a big difference between “there,” “their,” and “they’re.” You used the same wrong word six times in your essay.

 

3. It is “weigh,” not “way,” when speaking about weights.

 

4. The plurals of buck and doe are bucks and does. You cannot make a word plural by adding an apostrophe S. Apostrophes are used only to make words possessive or indicate a contraction (such as don’t, won’t, can’t, etc.). A few words are both singular and plural, but most require an S or ES to become plural.

 

5. The Coues deer is found only in Arizona, New Mexico and northern Mexico.

 

6. In very long articles with complex themes, it can be good for the author to tell readers what he will say, then say it, and then remind readers what he said. It becomes redundant in a short, 350-word piece, however.

 

Please don't let this tired old editor dampen your enthusiasm for writing. Keep writing and learning. You could be our next Hemingway, Ruark or Capstick.

 

Bill Quimby

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Nice essay. And don't take Bill's review too hard, he is one of the best hunting editors in the world! He is only trying to help :)

 

 

PS....if you want, tell Bill he misspelled your name and he should correct it :)

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Ggssss man! for now on I'm going to be afraid to write :D But is always good to have some one to teach us :)

 

Ernesto C

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Dangg-ed-Ol'-Goot-JOB-Lil'-man!!!! you cun Rite purdy nise fur a yungin!!

 

P.s Don't spell like that at school ;) Keep at it and thanks for sharing, great advise Bill!! At 27 I still think THERE-THEIR-THEY'RE all da same :wacko:

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Quinton:

 

I repeat: please do not lose your enthusiasm for writing. My intention was to help you, and to emphasize that proper spelling, grammar and syntax are everything when you write.

 

Bill Quimby

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Quinton,

I really like the way your essay begins and ends with a twig breaking. Beginnings and endings can be a difficult part of writing. Yours paints a great picture in the reader’s mind (your teacher would call that “imagery”). Great job!

 

You’re getting some great advice on your essay. Correcting your own work is very difficult because your mind knows what you are trying to say and can speed over errors. No professional writer does the final edit of his (or her) own work. They have editors who do that. An extra set of eyes helps in writing just like it does in deer hunting. Mr. Quimby is a professional writer and editor. He gave you great advice for free when his services usually fetch either a large fee or a hefty hourly rate. Consider it a CouesWhitetail.com discount. Like he said, he wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t think you had talent. His biggest piece of advice was not to lose your enthusiasm for writing. So don’t.

 

Words that sound the same but have different meanings are called “homophones.” And like azslim said, spell check won’t catch those. The reason I say this is that I bet Ms. Mckeen would be impressed if you said “Boy, those homophones can be tricky!” :lol: If she asked where you learned that you can say “My friends on CouesWhitetail.com!”

 

Good luck and keep writing!

 

 

 

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