Keeping the passion

[Coach]

Hey guys, kind of an abstract thought.

 

I'm in my 40's now. In my 20's & 30's I was absolutely addicted to anything hunting and fishing. When I wasn't tying flies I was reloading ammo, or out shooting and trying out new loads, or starting new salt licks and checking out old ones, or driving thousands of miles of every back road I could find for days on end just to see what was over the next ridge.

 

I wanted to get my 3 sons into it too, and they all took to it their own way - I've coached little league baseball and NAYFL football since my boys could have a ball bounce off their head - I've watched them grow and learn along with a bunch of other kids I'd gladly call my own.

 

Somewhere along the way, I lost my own passion for the things I used to love. I no longer tie flies, haven't gone fishing by myself in years. When I hunt, it's my boys' hunt, or if it's mine I don't give it much effort since I've usually used up all my time off on coaching or doing kids' hunts. I don't reload or shoot anymore the way I used to, or build arrows. I've lost my passion for archery, photography and writing, starting a business of my own...

 

Is this just a normal "middle age rut" or what?

[Guest oneshot]

Sometimes life gets in the way of our passions...

[DUG]

I'm the same way. Now, all my time that used to be for me is for my girls. I don't shoot near as often as I used to. Once your boys move out you will have time to do some of those things again.

[Hunt44]

I think that is the the normal cycle of life especially when we have kids. I did the same thing and am now just starting to pick up those passions again.

[loco4coues]

I think this is where the sacrifice and unselfishness comes in as a parent. Your kids become your passion. My kids are still young, but I hope that when they are grown I will still have the drive to do things for myself. I see that in my parents now that they are empty nesters.

 

If you feel like you are in a rut, make a choice and get out of it. Pick one of your passions and rekindle it.

 

Some good things to think about, thanks!

[shanehamblin]

I've noticed in the past yr I haven't packed as much salt an set as many trail cams. Scouted near as much as I typically do. My son is 4 turning 5 sept 5th. I have 2 girls 3 yrs and 4 months. I got to coach my sons tee ball team which was awesome I love baseball an am now coaching his soccer team. Not as fun I know nothing about soccer. But its fun watch them grow. I love that they're all taking to the outdoors the way I did when I was growing up. Its a weekly thing my son asks "dad can we go glassin?" Or him an my daughter come thru the house dragging stuffed animals yelling "dad check out the bucks we smoked!!! There is blood everywhere!!" Sometimes I miss what I used to be able to do but my time now is being well spent. I wouldn't trade my time with my family for anything an time in the outdoors with my family is even better. I have a NM deer tag that starts in a week which will also be my sons 5th bday. We're going camping for a week together an he's getting his first bow. It'll be a bonus if we kill a deer.

[Flatlander]

Coach, I think you have done everything right. Your family became your passion. Good for you.

 

I wouldn't call it a rut, I would call it figuring life out. Much respect.

[Mocha1545]

Priorities change when you have kids. IT's not all for you now. It's ALL about them.And I'll bet you love it! We only have so much time in our lives and there are other priorities that take up most of that time when we get older. My Dad was the same way. He had the passion and when we were old enough it became all about us. Fortunately both of us kids loved to hunt, fish and shoot so he got to help us grow the passion. I was the same way once my kids got old enough. Unfortunately neither of my kids have the hunting and fishing passion. They are older now and my passion is starting to simmer again. I know I won't have the time or money to get into it like I used to but will enjoy what I can. Going Deer hunting with my Dad and Brother this year. MY Dad will be 89 on this hunt.

 

Enjoy the ride Coach. Your priorities and passion are just where they need to be. Family!

[4Falls]

Coach, I had posted a similar thing to this a couple years back and you gave me some great advice. I tried this morning to look up the post but could not find it.

 

As others have said, Its something I think all dads go thru. We derive so much enjoyment from giving to our children that we almost get accustomed to not taking time for ourselves. Though Im still not back to the gungho type I used to be Im slowly getting back into the swing and know you will too.

[hunter4life]

Your passions change when you have kids. I hunt much less than I used to, but it is worth it to spend time with the family.

[Edge]

The only joy in the world is to begin...

Cesar Pavese

[Guest 300ultramag.]

Ha!!!!!! As I read this I am watching a Sophie grace and rose princess movie- the 3rd time in a 24 hour period..and I have an antelope tag in my pocket- It's a priority shift. Kids are a blessing enjoy it.

 

 

 

Here is my best scouting pic this season

[Sam]

I am 46 and thought the very same thing a few weeks ago. I think this is a normal process that most people go through.

 

I used to scout, hunt, fish, hike all the time - before kids. Often by myself. Some things I have stopped doing due to concern for own safety - glacier climbing and rock climbing trips are few and far between these days. I remember spending many nights alone along the Mexico Border looking for deer - back in the 80s and 90s. Too much at risk now. I do not want my kids to be without a father - who would pay the bills:). I also think about the money involved in all of these trips I used to take. When gas was 78 cents a gallon, I could go everywhere and not feel guilty. Now with braces, dance classes, AIA athletic fees, etc....I have to spend my dollars more wisely.

 

Family vacations are also different with 2 high school age daughters. A fishing trip to the white mountains does not compare to a beach house in San Diego. I made a vow to myself and my family - this year I am getting back to some of things I used to do. If they want to join me great, if not I am going alone.

 

Now, I just need to get in better shape so I don't kill myself.

[Coach]

I really like the responses here, and truly appreciate the perspective you all bring. Honestly, I wouldn't trade a minute of the time I have invested in my boys. All I want to do is give them the opportunity to find out who they are and who they want to be and help them get there.

 

Totally appreciate you great dads. It's a hard row to hoe, but you guys are living up to the demands, and my hat's off to you for that.

[KeithV]

Coach, its pretty wild you brought this up, Just the other day i was thinking the same thing. I havent picked up my guitar in six months or gone fishing in a long time. This summer for a few weeks we had an empty house for the first time in a lot of years, my wife said this is weird we dont even hardly know each other without the kids. I have spent the last 20 something years at games banquets sometimes trying to watch two games at once. I wouldnt change it for the world. I really thought there was something wrong with me because i have slowed down on things, but i will throw another curve ball out i have five grand babies and thats a whole new deal haha! the responses on this thread are awesome and helped me see your thoughts in a different light thanks guys.